Friday, June 02, 2006

Who's Your Daddy?

Here's an amusing story for my lovelies..

The other night, Jason was on the phone with his devil mother while he was out running errands. I had expected Jason to return in maybe 30 minutes or longer, but instead returned in 10. He had this really angry look on his face which really scared me. I thought to myself, "Did I do something wrong? Did he find the new pair of jeans I just bought and tried to hide from him? Shit." I quietly asked, "Honey, what's wrong?" to which he replied...

"I just got off the phone with my mother and now I'm so angry I don't think I should be on the road."
"Oh god.. what did she say now???"
"She said she received a copy of Lily's birth certificate and wanted to let me know that I wasn't on it. I told her that I knew and that Armi was REALLY angry with me because I wasn't there to sign the paperwork at the hospital. I couldn't leave work and.. well, yes, I know. We're going to get the paperwork fixed and blah blah blah. Do you know what she said to that??? She said, 'Well maybe Armi didn't want you on the birth certificate because she's not sure if you're Liliana's father or not.'"
"And what the hell did you say to that?"
"Nothing."
"NOTHING??? Are you shitting me? You said nothing???"
"No.. I just hung up on her. If she calls, don't bother answering the phone. I've had it."
THE END

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Costco=Mo'nique


So funny story...

My sister and I were shopping at Costco the other day for some random things we prefer to buy in bulk, like toilet paper, baby formula.. you get the point. Costco is also a great place for getting your film/digital prints done while you shop. The print quality is pretty cool, and the photos are bordered, which I love.



Anyhoo, it took an hour for the photo service to be done, so my sister and I took our time shopping and paroozaling the beer and wine selection. As we were turning the corner, I heard this really boisterous laugh and couldn't help but look up. Right before me stood Mo'nique, the comiedienne from "The Parkers" and the host of "Showtime at the Apollo". (yes, I watch bad TV when I can't sleep.) I looked at her and said NOTHING. She looked at me and said, "Hi.. how y'all doin' now?" I said, "Great, thanks! You know.. you look really good! You look different from what I imagined, it's soo not 'Fat Chance' style!" She laughed and said she wished more people thought like I did.

Yes, I'm a nerd.

I guess she's been working out a lot, and taking her health more seriously, especially since she gave birth to twins not so long ago. She said she appreciated the compliment.

But I will say that it was a pleasure to sorta meet her. I haven't made it a secret that I'm a little annoyed at how difficult its been for me to lose my baby weight. I've actually been darnright bitchy at times. (ask Jason!) Mo'nique puts out a confident self-image and preaches to women that a little cushion is okay, just be healthy. And on that note, I'll be going to they gym now. :)