Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Forgive me Father, but you're an ass...


My nephew had a big week last week. He celebrated his first Thanksgiving with the family (though he's still too young to eat real food), and he was baptized.

We entered the church and noticed the huge amount of people present. It seemed as if there were 10 children being baptized instead of the 4. (I guess the kids had huge entourages.) :)

Naturally, when family and friends gather around for a celebration, they talk. In church, with all those people present and the really good acoustics, the chatter seemed a bit loud. Not obnoxiously loud, but people were obviously talking.

As the priest and his Baptismal Coordiator were setting up, the priest said, "May I have your attention, please?". A lull came over the group. He then continued by saying:

"I went on a trip recently with a group of Muslims to a mosque in the Middle East. When we entered their place of worship, I was astounded by their behavior. They were so quiet and reverent... they showed respect to their God and his house. I find it very amusing that when Catholics enter their house of worship, they talk. Don't you?"

I didn't know what to say. I was speechless. What few words I mustered were:
"Dude... you're an ass!"
Now granted, that probably wasn't the best thing to say in church, but I was really appalled at what he had said. I understand the point he was trying to get across, but that was kinda mean.
I attended 2 private Catholic Schools in my life. One from grades K-8, and the other for HS. I actually enjoyed attending church, because Fr. Mike (we always went to his mass because he actually spoke to the families and his homilies made sense... he didn't preach just to preach. He talked about everyday life, things he saw, what he thought... he talked about the kids at the school and how he was proud of this one kid who shared his lunch with another who forgot his and blah blah blah... He was cool. Before mass began, he made a point of it to have everyone introduce themselves to the people surrounding them so they could all meet. He thought it was important that people know their "family" within the Catholic Church. Before we knew it, everyone knew everyone and mass became a fun event to attend. Kids actually wanted to go to mass, especially if it were with Fr. Mike. He left the church I grew up in, and I believe he's teaching somewhere in Ireland now.
Anyhoo, so to Father Whosamawhatsit:
Sorry you think its lame people were gathering in your house of worship. I now feel that if I ever go to church there, I won't participate or speak out loud, because you might think it's rude. I won't look at the people who surround me and I won't greet them during the sign of peace, because that might be deemed as inappropriate.
Oh, and your homily sucked, too.

From California...



My friend sent this to me and it made me laugh. I think maybe 2 of my faithful readers (thanks, guys!) are from California, so I hope this gives you a little giggle on an otherwise boring Tuesday. To everyone else... I hope this doesn't confuse you. :)

I'M CALIFORNIAN THAT MEANS...
-I'm Mexican or I've dated one
-Our chics are way hotter then yours
-I have eaten tri-tip and know what it is
- I cuss a lot.
- I say "like" and "fer sure" and "right on" and "dude" and "bro" and "hecka" and "hella"; and I say them often.
-I replace adjectives with "hella" and "hecka" to express myself.
-All of those "Happy Cows" come from California.
- I know what real cheese & avocadoes taste like.
- I don't get snowdays off because it only snows in Mammoth, Tahoe, and Big Bear.
- Summers are really hot, and winters are really cold. That's the way it is.
- I go to the Beach - not "down the shore".
- I know 65 mph really means 80+.
- When someone cuts me off, they get the horn and the finger and they accept it and give it back, because that's the California way.
- I've been to "the City" aka "Frisco" aka San Francisco and have eaten fresh clam chowder out of a sourdough bread bowl.
- The drinking age is 21 but everyone starts at 14 (legally 18 if you live close enough to the border).
- My governor can kick your governors ass.
- I can go out at midnight and wear a t-shirt and shorts.
- I might get looked at funny by locals when I'm on vacation in their state, but when they find out I'm from California I turn into a Greek GOD.
- I can get fresh and REAL Mexican food 24 hours a day.
-we have thee best natural tans
- All the TV shows you "other" states watch get filmed here.
- We have In-N-Out (Arizona and Vegas are lucky we share that with them).
-I have the most representation in the House of Representatives, which means MY opinion means more then yours, which means I'm better than you
-All the porn you watch is made here, cause we fuck better and thats how it is.
-The best athletes come from here (except hockey players so not the best athletes)
-sunglasses can be worn everyday of the year