Friday, October 28, 2005

Does Everyone Have One of These???

Okay everyone... prepare for a bitchfest.

I have this sister. She's the oldest of 4. I'm not sure if I put too high of an expectation on her, but everyone but everyone seems to agree with me, except for my Mother.

I blogged about her a very long time ago. I think it was one of my very first blogs, in fact.

So my sister and I have this strained relationship. She's always been kinda...mean, for lack of a better word. As far as I can remember, she's always been my least favorite sister for several reasons.

I can vividly remember taking a bath with my 2 older sisters when I was about 1 1/2. Myra was almost 4, and Rachel was about 6. Rachel turned on the hot water and decided it was too hot and jumped out of the tub. Myra did the same. I, being too little to know how to get out of the tub myself, was left inside. I screamed because the pain was WAAAY too much to handle. My Dad tried getting into the bathroom, frantically yelling for Rachel to open the door. She locked it because she was afraid she'd get into trouble. I suffered 2nd and 3rd degree burns on my feet to the middle of my calves. I can still see scars and random patterns on my skin because of the burns. Rachel never said sorry, or at least never said it to me.

One spring afternoon, I found out that if you throw semi-wet dirt onto a brick wall, it sticks. I was fascinated. I thought I discovered something scientific and amazing. I called my Dad to go to the backyard so he could see what I did. He was amused. I got this lecture on rain and soil and how one affects another and it changes composition. I thought my Dad was a genius and we had this bonding thing that continued till I entered high school. My Dad told Rachel what I learned and how proud he was of me. Rachel then went into the backyard and threw a rock at my eye. I bled and was sent to the hospital again. I had to wear glasses after that incident. I believe I was just entering 1st grade at that point.

Growing up, I had this fascination with cooking, mainly because it was fun and I liked to eat. My Dad was an AWESOME cook. We often cooked together, then ate our experiments together. I got chubby, then I got fat. For years, I was ridiculed about my appearance. I stopped cooking with my Dad and told him I didn't want to cook anymore because I was told I was ugly and fat. He was hurt, and then one day found me crying because my sister was demeaning me again. He figured out why I didn't want to spend time with him in the kitchen anymore. Rachel got into trouble again. She then made sure that I knew that she was always better than me, whether it be in academics (though my GPA was always higher than hers), appearance ("you are so ugly.. no wonder you like that ugly outfit") or affection ("we love the dog better than you"). I went into this phase where I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Around 7th grade, I got into dancing. I loved loved loved loved loved it. I ended up slimming out and my appearance changed. Boys liked me. I was popular. I tried out for Drill Team at my grade school and made it. I was captain. Rachel was in Drill Team at her HS. She told me my team sucked and hers was better. I was proud of my achievement till she told me that.

I tried out for Cheerleading when I entered HS. I made the cut. I found out that the Drill Team at the HS was terrible, and that was where the girls went when they didn't make it on the Cheer squad. I thought it was funny how I was hurt before. I was on Cheer and then Songleading when I entered the Varsity Level. I kicked ass. FB was my biggest fan. :)

Growing up, I gained a sense of self-confidence. With little burbles along the way, I grew up to the person I am today. For someone my age, I think I've accomplished alot. I'm educated and funny. I have a personality that can adapt to several environments. I've been financially independent for years, which is something my sister has never been. I climbed the corporate ladder and made a great living for myself. I still get job offers, even though I'm pregnant. I found someone who loves me for me, and I'm very happy.

Rachel dated someone for 4 years who is not only younger than me, but maturity-wise is about the age of a fetus. He does drugs. He stole items from Rachel to sell for drug money. She has spent more than $20,000.00 of my parents' money in college tuition, and just received her AA in music this past spring. She has now chosen to go back to school for nursing. She accumulated THOUSANDS in debt, and has been bailed out my several family members, including myself. She is now attempting to build her credit once again by charging up her credit cards. She moved into my cousin's house and created havoc on the family by creating mess and charging bills with no way of repaying them.

Today, she needed work done on her car. She brought her car to a repair shop, and brought my Mom with her so SHE can pay. She is now on her way out, with a check in hand for $300.00 from my Mother. My sister Myra just gave her $200.00 last Saturday. I refused when she asked me for money, as I am trying to save my money for baby expenses. She told my mom I gave her attitude and was snippy with her. I was scolded by my Mom because I "wasn't respecting my elders". My jaw dropped. I stared at her for a while, and walked off. I am now venting on my blog with the hopes that this will give me some type of consolement.

I just overheard that she will be borrowing my Mom's brand new Acura TL because she doesn't have a car to drive while hers is in the shop. She will be bringing my Mom to work tonight, apparently.

So I ask you... am I mean? Am I really THAT insensitive? On that note, I ask for your response... HELP!

Monday, October 24, 2005

Ultrasounds= Butt Cracks

Okay... so I really think I just wasn't destined to know what the sex of baby is. The first time I went to get an ultrasound, we tried for 45 minutes to see the sex of the baby. All I saw were kicking legs and a cute behind.

I had another appointment scheduled last Friday. I was really excited because it would be my 2nd try at trying to see the baby's "stuff". Unfortunately, the ultrasound machine had just started malfunctioning the day prior and was in the process of getting repaired as I was standing in the hallway. I glanced into the ultrasound room and saw the repair man bending over and showing a great deal of ass crack.

Why is it that every time I have an ultrasound, all I see is butt????