Thursday, August 25, 2005

Eew... You're Gross

Since I moved to the valley, I had to find a new OBGYN Dr. When I made an appointment with a long-standing doctor within the city I live in, I breathed a sigh of relief. (Finding doctors is a bitch, by the way)

So I went to my last appointment, very happy and excited to meet the doctor who will be taking care of my medical needs for the next 4 months. Cool, right? Oh so so so so wrong. I entered the building, which was very nice and upkept pretty well. (They got 1 point for that.) The door was locked at 2:00pm, and my appointment was at 2:00pm. (-1 pt. They apparently ran late from their lunch break) The office doors opened up at 2:15 (ugh!) and I waited another 20 minutes to be called in.
So what was the point of making my appointment at 2:00?

I entered the office, was greeted by a woman who spoke english with a REALLY thick accent.

*Note I grew up in the San Fernando Valley, and I understand accents, especially Spanish/Mexican accents. The majority of my friends were Mexican. Their parents spoke Spanish to me, and I conversed at a quite comfortable level. I also took 7 years of combined HS and college-level spanish classes, so you might understand why I was so taken aback when I didn't understand her very well.

I wasn't being a jerk. I really wasn't. But for some reason, I just didn't have a good feeling so far about this doctor and his staff. The lady then began to ask me the normal questions like, "do you smoke, do you take drugs, do you drink alcohol, etc..." She asked me when the last day of my period was. I gave her my response, and she didn't understand me. I then told her, "el 21 de marzo". She started speaking Spanish, and asked me if I could speak in Spanish for the remainder of the visit, then it would be helpful to her.

Helpful to her? Mother sucker, are YOU here for the appointment, or am I? Shit.

She asked me to pee in a cup. The cup wasn't the plastic kind you normally get with the label and stuff. She gave me a paper cup you usually use when you get water from a public water cooler. I went to the bathroom and did my deed. I wanted to wash my hands because, well.. it's just sanitary. They had no paper towels to wipe my hands, and I had a cup of pee to hold.

I thought to myself, "I wonder how long there's been no paper towels. Now I have to touch the handle. Did other people wash their hands, because if I touch the handle, then I'll be touching the pee handle. Shit!

I told her there were no paper towels in the bathroom (in Spanish, of course) and she was like, "yeah, so?". Holy hell! How unsanitary are you people at a DOCTOR'S OFFICE????

Okay, so I waited in the room for another 30 minutes because the doctor wasn't in. Mind you it's 3:10pm and my appointment was supposed to be at 2:00pm. The doctor came in, didn't greet me or say hello, just looked at the papers and said, "your first time here?" I said, "yes", but really thought, "Yes, and it'll be my last, too." He asked me other questions in a curt tone, and at the end of that, he said he'd check the hearbeat of baby. Okay. So he got the fetal heart montor, lifted my shirt, and I said, "umm... can you wash your hands first?" He gave me the dirtiest look. I was like, "Eew... You're gross!" He washed his hands, and proceeded with the procedure, but was an even bigger weenie than before. The appointment was over soon after, (thank God!) and I left thinking that I'll NEVER set foot in that office again.

I found another OBGYN and will be seeing him soon. Wish me luck.

Oh, for your viewing pleasure, I've attached a diagram of how to properly wash your hands.

Oh, and if you don't have time to do this, then you can always use:

Monday, August 22, 2005

I Saw a Butt

I had a pretty good last week, so I'm hoping to repeat the same this week. I'm hopeful on this not too hot Monday. :)

Last Tuesday I had my first ultrasound which was mind-blowing and a huge reality check for me. I think after seeing the baby, I've come to realize how odd, yet amazing it is to have the little sucker growing inside my achy body. I've also learned a little about the baby in the brief hour and half I had to see it on the monitor:
  • Baby likes to play... The lady who was performing the ultrasound had a difficult time with baby, as when she found baby, he/she moved to another place to migrate to. She followed baby around and around for about 45 minutes and just laughed because she said baby is now playing games with her just so he/she could make her job more difficult.
  • Baby is a smartass (already???)... Not only was it difficult for the ultrasound tech to get a good picture of baby due to its antics, she also noted how difficult it was for her to get the baby to flip around and show it's stuff. When she got a good view of the baby (and it's genitals), baby would close it's legs and not open them till the end of the procedure. I saw baby kick me with closed legs, and I saw baby flip around and show me his/her butt. I did not see "the stuff". Oh well.

So in the meantime, baby will be called baby, and I'm stuck thinking if I should start utilizing those greens and yellows for decorating.

Notice my well-manicured thumb... :)